In this week’s Disney Headlines, Strange Worlds skips France, someone flunks movie-making math, and I give in and talk about that wedding fiasco.
Who Taught You Math?
Both of today’s main headlines defy all sense of logic or reason. They are impossible to believe, but here we are.
The first of them involves Johnny Depp, whose situation I discussed last week.
Someone online started a laughable rumor that Disney offered the actor $301 million to return to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
Folks, even the most expensive big-budget Hollywood productions rarely cost more than $200 million to produce.
There’s simply no path to profitability for a project that pays a single performer $301 million. That’s just math.
However, this story gained enough credibility that Snopes had to debunk it.
The (intentional?) misunderstanding stems from a comment Depp made during the recent trial against ex-wife Amber Heard.
An opposing attorney asked Depp the following:
““And the fact is, Mr. Depp, if Disney came to you with $300 million dollars and a million alpacas, nothing on this earth would get you to go back and work with Disney on a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ film, correct ?””
Depp answered no to the question. It was an entirely theoretical ridiculous supposition with but one purpose.
Heard’s attorney wanted Depp to discuss a high-paying gig he may have lost due to the allegations. That’s it. Somebody took that absurd supposition and stated it as fact.
Well, I’m here to tell you that if anyone you know believes this or tries to relay this information to you, you can and should set them straight.
Depp confirmed that Disney had offered him $22.5 million – ever so slightly short of $301 million – to return in Pirates of the Caribbean 6.
That’s the salary he lost due to the public dispute with his ex. So, the news reports are off by a factor of 12 on his pay.
Disney Bridezilla Loose’s Social Media Campaign
Let me start with a confession. I’m not saying that the food at my wedding reception led directly to my divorce, which didn’t occur until several years later.
However, that sordid affair definitely didn’t help any. In fact, it made family get-togethers awkward for years afterward.
People experience intense emotions when significant family events go awry, something a couple recently discovered the VERY hard way.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, a recently married woman posted on the always-inflammatory AITA subreddit. And if you don’t know what the AITA stands for, I’m not gonna tell you.
I will say that MANY people who replied to her post felt strongly that she WAS the second A in the AITA.
This bridezilla chose Disney as the destination for her dream wedding, which is something many of us aspire to do.
In fact, before the world went nuts, I’d toyed with the notion of surprising my wife with a vow renewal at Disney in 2020.
Like me, this bride likely had noble intentions, at least at first. She wanted her family to meet at Disney for a joint wedding and family vacation.
Unfortunately, she made the odd decision not to offer food to her wedding guests. The woman felt that they were at Disney and could fend for themselves.
Obviously, the internet is all too happy to discuss the rising cost of Disney vacations. So, the family members who traveled to the wedding expected some grub.
The invitations had clearly indicated that this wouldn’t be the case, but the explanation was laughable.
This couple chose to spend the same amount of money for two batches of character interactions/wedding photos with Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
Did This Even Happen?!
The Reddit poster has since deleted the post, and many people have speculated that it’s a fake. In fact, that’s why I chose not to run with the story last week.
If this tale is true, these two people should be disavowed by the rest of the family. But then again, if the story is true, that’s apparently already happening.
According to the poster, an aunt stirred up some drama on Facebook a few weeks later by complaining about this choice.
Here’s a tweet that summarizes the aunt’s perspective:
Imagine sitting at a table with no food watching weird twoos in costumes pose for pictures with Mickey and Minnie Mouse https://t.co/2rnzhxeax7 pic.twitter.com/5ZBtcOp9OA
— 👑 King Artie 👑 (@Artie_Thinks) June 6, 2022
I think that’s all of us as we read this story, and virtually everywhere on MickeyBlog right now is a Disney superfan.
Nobody could have been this selfish about a family reception at a wedding, right?
Whether the story is true or not, it has taken on a life of its own on the internet.
People LOVE to talk smack about the clueless bride who had the audacity to ask whether she was the A in this scenario.
The implication is that she expected people to answer that her aunt was the A instead.
I think we’re all far too accustomed to aunts and uncles saying offensive stuff on social media by now. So, she was never going to win that fight.
Again, I don’t think this story passes the laugh test. However, if it is real, someone will eventually out this poster.
Then, they’re going to absorb another social media drubbing. So YIKES!!!
The Movie Headlines
We’ve got two headlines of note in Disney’s movie division, one of which is more of a birthday.
Lilo & Stitch, one of the most impactful Disney films of the 21stSt century, turns 20 tomorrow, June 16th.
My wife and I actually saw this on its first Saturday in theaters. She was visiting me from Illinois, and this was the weekend she committed to moving here.
So, that might be the explanation for why she owns literally hundreds of Stitch dolls, pins, and shirts.
Lilo & Stitch was a solid box office performer, earning $145.8 million domestically and $273 million worldwide against an $80 million budget.
Still, the film wouldn’t truly earn its glowing reputation until it came out on home video.
The delightful movie dominated rental and sales charts, just as Encanto is doing now.
Disney turned it into a franchise with multiple straight-to-video sequels and a beloved animated series.
You can watch it whenever you want on Disney+…and really ought to be doing that right now!
The other film story involves Strange World, Disney’s Thanksgiving holiday release that looks like Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater Restaurant: The Movie.
Disney plans to release this title on Disney+ at the 45-day mark, just as its other recent titles.
This tactic has caused issues with French exhibitors. They had previously punished Disney by preventing films with such short streaming windows from playing in theaters.
So, Disney chose not to release Strange World in theaters in France. In short, Disney called these people’s bluff, and now they’re freaking out.
The folks responsible for the bluff have folded. They are now calling for mediation in hopes of persuading Disney to release Strange World in theaters.
Exhibitors need to accept that they have no negotiating leverage with Disney and just play ball.